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Oct. 3rd, 2009 @ 09:51 pm (no subject)
Well I feel like someone locked the bar on the coaster and forgot to tell me I can't get off. 
MM is getting quieter by the day and the tension is harder than hell lately!
We spent today out at the movies with the kids and Carrie and Lucas.  It was fun!  As soon as we left there, SILENCE again.

SIGH  What do I do to make him see me again.
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tree
Sep. 22nd, 2009 @ 12:45 pm (no subject)
Part of me is feeling like a failure.  I feel like I can't do anything right.
Today I went to work and the Boss was in a bad mood.  After much finger pointing by him and name calling he decided I was in the wrong.  For what I'm not sure, because I did everything like I was told to.  So he told me to come back at 1.  Then called me and fired me.  WHATEVER!  So I took my key back, and he aploigized to me and offered a great reference letter.  I smiled said thanks and left.  Then he called and offered to take me to lunch and talk about possible job things.  I told him no thank you.  Whatever.  I didn't need the stress anyway.  So unemployeed again!

SIGH
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shades of grey
Sep. 14th, 2009 @ 10:45 pm (no subject)

"Well pumpkins, it comes down to that age-old decision: style... or... substance?"


Thanks for the substance Patrick! RIP
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moon
Jul. 7th, 2009 @ 12:00 am (no subject)
You claimed sex toys as a business expense on your tax forms
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bitch
Jun. 4th, 2009 @ 10:29 pm (no subject)
My babies have 1 day of school left this semester and are SO excited.
Lil won a math award, and Nome won a good behavior award.
They are gonna go hang with their dad this weekend.
On Monday Nome starts a week of Ballet camp!!!!
Does it make me feel guilty that they literally have NO time off between school and the camps... NO!
I still have to figure out what Lil and I will do while Nome is at ballet.  But I figure we have tons of time to get plans made!

I am running feast this month and have ZERO planned!  So... Sat. Carrie is meting with me to go over recipes and help me get a plan that I can do put together.  I will admit my faith in my own cooking is zilch.  It's not like war where I have a kick ass kitchen, I have to pre-plan and cook a lot in order to make it work in my tiny hole of a kitchen.  I have a few ideas for the menu that involve a lot of ravioli.  I also found a periodish pizza with a white sauce or pesto sauce!!!!

Overall things are ok right now.  I am really tired all the time.  MM and I are speaking a lot more so I guess all is well.  I miss my friends.  I am kinda feeling lost as to what comes next in life.  So, I am focusing on time with my kidletsand MM.  I am throwing myself into arts projects and learning to play an instrument (which one is yet to be determined).  Anything to keep my mind busy and me moving.
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happy ending
Apr. 27th, 2009 @ 07:24 pm (no subject)
I's alive

Kids are doing ok. Lil is having a rough week. I have the bruises and bite marks to prove it. I have girl scout camp all arranged for them. Next come the ballet camp and the other 2 right after. My kids are so spoiled :)

I have to get the logistics worked out still about getting to elkart for the Paraprofessional test that I have to take for work. I get to take a day off work to do it too! But the plus side is that I will get a guaranteed job for next year a soon as I pass the test

MM is doing ok too I guess. Don't see tons of eachother lately.
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shades of grey
Apr. 16th, 2009 @ 08:29 pm (no subject)
I AM ALIVE!!!! Or at least that is what people tell me.

Things are going along fairly well. Work is back to being fun. We have been lots of team building trainings and that seems to be helping. I love the kids at our school and the staff rocks. I think it also helps that Zestos opened up across the street again! Oh and did I mention that the 20lbs I lost after the sickness is reattaching itself to my hips lol

The kids are doing well. Their dad is home and making things interesting but o far so good. Although I cried, his fiancee called it off due to family issues. I loved her :(

I miss all my friends and am loving being back in adria!
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reality
Apr. 1st, 2009 @ 10:23 pm (no subject)
THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Lydia
2. Mom
3. Miss H

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Teaching Assistant
2. Executive Assistant
3. Manager at Hardees

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Ft. Wayne, IN
2. Columbia City, IN
3. Goshen, Indiana

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I LIKE
1. Dollhouse
2. TAPS
3. Ugly Betty

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
1. New York, NY
2. Las Vegas, NV
3. Chicago, IL

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. New Orleans
2. San Fransisco
3. Washington DC

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Noodles
2. Lobster
3. BBQ Pork

THREE THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. Fall Banner War... we just found out MM can go!!!!!
2. Figuring out a summer job
3. Taking the kids to the dairy

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. Sheen Sparkle Holliger (my Tonkenis baby)
2. Maggie (the dumb dog lol)
3. Smoky (he drank my cold meds and died.. the bubble gum crap they ALWAYS gave ya as a kid)

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/ ARTISTS
1. Vonda Shepard
2. Apocalyptica
3. Abba

THREE FAVORITE TEAMS TO WATCH
1. Komets
2. US Olympic Team
3. Somerset fighters at wars

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1. Pepsi (duh)
2. Sweet Tea
3. Apple Juice

THREE FAVORITE BOOKS
1. Joy at Work (Written by the guy who owns Imagine Schools)
2. The Hobbit
3. Les Miserables (The uncut with all the political crap!)
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tree
Mar. 20th, 2009 @ 09:29 pm (no subject)
Choose one of your favorite musical artists and then answer the following questions using nothing but titles of their songs.

Pick Your Artist: Vonda Shepard

Are you male or female: A New Marilyn

Describe yourself: I Shy Away

How do you feel about yourself: Mischief Control

Describe where you currently live: Neighborhood

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Sail on Bye

Your best friend is: This Steady Train

Your favorite color is: Sunset Marquis

You know: What Becomes of the Brokenhearted

What's the weather like: Rain or Shine

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?: Venus is Breaking

What is life to you: This is Crazy Now

What is the best advice you have to give: Ask the Lonely

If you could change your name, what would it be: Newspaper Wife

Your favorite food is: The Man With the Bag
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dance boys
Mar. 17th, 2009 @ 03:17 pm (no subject)
insert death rattles here....

I got progressively worse over the weekend and went to the er Sunday night. Pneumonia the doc says, and sever dehydration, and low potassium count. So Here i lay at home on meds... getting no better... just feeling like crap. My lungs want to rip out and shrivel up. I almost think it would be easier to die lol. Dreamqeen came over to help me today. The kids were crying because mommy wasn't up to making her Irish supper. She is helping me get it all put together in the crock pot. I hope it cooks in time... or they'll still cry. They love the ham, potato and cabbage stew with cornbread. Not REAL Irish food, but it's what my family makes on new years and St paddy's day every year.

Poor MM has spent the last week taking care of the flooded basement, my sick butt, and the demands of the kids. He held up so well. But he is back at school this week so I hope he can hold it all together. The kids better be good for him tonight. I heard them mouthing off a lot yesterday. But hey its giving them ALL a chance to learn to get along without a buffer. That is a big step. Anyway drugs have made this really hard to write. Literally took me 3 hours and 10 spell checks.
So by all... back to dieing :P
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shades of grey
Mar. 2nd, 2009 @ 06:06 pm (no subject)
Argh.


The weather is changing and so I hit my usual shake it up and change mood. Unfortunately I am fighting an inner battle to shake up my living arrangement and relationship status. I want a future. MM does not seem to want to settle down anytime soon. So... apartment hunting will be happening soon as I try to decide on my next step.
Beyond that all is kinda crazy. I have been looking around for other jobs. Have a few leads, and hopefully an interview soon. I am exhausted and still fighting off that infection. Kids are doing good. Lil's ear is healing well. We go back to the doc tomorrow to see if the hearing is coming back. Nome is growing like a weed and her attitude is getting more and more like that of a outspoken teenager. She is so cute that people laugh it of, but in 2 years they are going to call her a brat if I can't fix it soon.
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tree
Feb. 25th, 2009 @ 08:35 pm (no subject)
So it's been a scary week or so here.
TMI.... so I have had a breast infection that has been coming and going for a few weeks. Every time I think it's cleared it sneaks back up. Well it got seriously bad last week and by Friday my entire breast was swollen and purple. Breathing hurt, let alone walking. So I ran to redimed and got the ouchy drained. They put me on uber antibiotics and sent me home. It got worse, and swelled up again and the pain was HORRID. Monday I decided to brave work. I passed out in the hallway from the pain. So went to MY doc and she put me on Vicadin and sent me for lots of tests. After yesterday they have ruled out cancer THANK GOD. The current thought is that the infection got into my blood stream and spread. The doc says the meds should kill it off, but the pain is still pretty bad. I went back to work today and still felt shaky. Even with the pain killers I ache. Hopefully by tomorrow the pain will dull down.

Beyond all that crap... all is ok. MM and I seem to have found a working set-up. We are getting along a lot better, and even able to communicate now occasionally. The kidlets are doing good. They are SUPER excited about their daddy coming home soon. We still do not even have a date yet, but we know it is soon!
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happy ending
Feb. 9th, 2009 @ 07:38 pm (no subject)
Surgery went well. The doc said there was no damage to the bone like he feared. They were able to scrape away all the damaged skin and the graft seemed to seal well. The only heavy side effect is that she is REALLY nauseous. She had to take some super strong drugs to settle her tummy down that knocked her out for the whole day. Her head is all wrapped up in a bandage and she looks like a mummy. Tomorrow I get to take the wrap off. If her tummy is up to it we'll run errands and maybe do a lunch out. Everything depends on how her little belly and ear are feeling.
Looks like it's going to be a crazy week around here.
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hands
Feb. 6th, 2009 @ 09:55 pm (no subject)
SOOOOOOOOOO tired

Kids are ok, stressed and worried about surgery.
MM is alright I guess, not talking much so I'm not sure.
Me... sleepy and worried about my health.
I am going to the doctor to get checked out.

Please send good karma or prayers or whatever our way. Things are kinda hard right now.
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tree
Feb. 4th, 2009 @ 10:20 pm (no subject)
My babies can occasionally smile and my entire day explodes into this rainbow of happy!

I had a crappy day. Things are not happy in my world.

After school today I decided to take kidlets out for a nice dinner before the doc appt.
So we went to the Halls by parkview and sat and ate and had a GREAT dinner. The appt went smooth and the ride home was quiet.
They did everything I asked of them with a smile and kept saying how much they loved me.
It was one of those evenings that make me smile and glow from inside.

I am so blessed to have these little ones.

(I am posting this for 2 reasons. 1. I had to share that we have god days too. 2. The next time they piss me off I can read this and calm down.)
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dance boys
Feb. 3rd, 2009 @ 10:23 pm (no subject)
Lil has to have ear surgery on Monday. The doc is very concerned about the hole in her ear. They are talking about a 90% current hearing loss now. Apparently her ear drum thingy isn't even vibrating that much. The are going to patch the hole and fix an other damage needed. She will be laid up for a week or two. She is not looking forward to this... but she knows it's needed.

SIGH.... another week off work for me.

My job is stressing me out, but it pays the bills.
MM and I are talking a little more. He refuses therapy.
Nome is being a brat at school. She is however, spending 1/2 the day in 1st grade because she is to smart for Kind.
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tree
Jan. 25th, 2009 @ 02:40 pm (no subject)
Ya remember that one family that always seemed to catch everything that was going around? The ones who found obscure shit and contracted it for no reason? The ones that always missed school because they were so darn sick all the time?

WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE MY FAMILY!!?!?!?!?!?!

STUPID kids were complaining about the bottoms itching. So mommy investigates and discovers my kids have pinworms. Not terribly dangerous, but gross and contagious.
So yeah a whole day of cleaning, sanitizing, and drugging awaits.

Seriously, why do I have kids?
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shades of grey
Jan. 16th, 2009 @ 06:35 pm (no subject)
MM is an amazing boyfriend!  HE is loaning me the money for the car till my taxes are all taken car of!  My family also gave me a bump and lowered the price about $500! 
So tomorrow at 10m I will OWN my own car and have to pay for insurance and all that jazz.  It's kinda scary.  I never owned a car.  My gold car was moms and she paid for insurance on it for till till I could get something else. 
So yeah I'll have  BOAT to drive now!  It'a a 96 Lincoln Towncar with all the yummy extra including a moon roof!  I'm gonna be a pimping mama :)

Beyond that... Lil's doc said surgery BUT... he doesn't feel confident doing its once it is such a rare surgery, so we have to consult with the chief surgeon for ENT and then he will do it.  Looks like in about 3 or 4 weeks.  Till then we have to be careful to keep her ears covered, dry and semi quiet.  UGH!!!
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tree
Jan. 14th, 2009 @ 09:02 pm (no subject)
My baby has 1 ear with a hole in the drum.  This I have known since last April.  They said to keep an eye on it, and keep it dry then she would be ok.  If it got worse then we would need to have surgery.  We've been good till Monday at 3 am when SCREAMS woke me up.  Not only does she have an ear infection, it is BLEEDING.  So... now we have an appointment to see hen they can fix her ear.  The catch... she can't be around ANY loud sounds in the meantime or permanent damage could happen to the infected ears hearing.  Which of course means, no school, little to no t.v, no fighting and yelling.  Yep I've had 2 days off work and PRAYING I can go back tomorrow, but doubt it.  The doc says if the bleeding stops that she can go back to school as long as we have a plug or something in it to block sound.  LOL   What is the point of going if she can't hear or go in the halls, or lunch, or recess?  I'll just pick up her crap and do her lessons at home.  SIGH  So yep needless to say $ will be beyond tight after a week off work.  No Adria for us this month.  MM will still go, but kids and I will stay home and rest.

The bitch of it all is that I can barely pay the med bills as it is.  So now I'll have more new bills to try to figure in.  My car is also trying to die.  It has not started a few times and the brakes are starting to go out.  My late grandpas' car is being sold for $2500 and is in great condition.  All my debts considered and the looming time off work makes all an impossibility.  Sigh... I need to win the lottery.
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smile
Jan. 11th, 2009 @ 08:34 pm (no subject)
Well what a week!!!

I had a weird b-day.  Very lazy and blah and quiet, but no cake or anything.  Just a dinner out with MM and the kids (Lily fell asleep half way through it lol)

Nome celebrated her b-day at school Friday.  Now many people may think I am a mean mom but... I firmly believe that kids do NOT need to take cupcakes to school, they have to much sugar as it is.  So this year Nome took in a big bag of mixed fruit and canned dessert whip spray.  It went over great and was a MUCH healthier option! 
BUT
She was supposed to have a BIG birthday party on Saturday.  When the weather reports kept getting worse the tea house owner and I talked and she felt that it was to dangerous to have people out.  So we rescheduled the party for the 24th.  This did NOT go over well with my baby. 
We also decided to do her "birthday you pick it meal" on Friday too just in case.  So after a yummy Buddy's Pizza delivery of mac n cheese pizza and philly steak and cheeses pizza she was much happier.
When we got up Sat. I ran out and got her some krispie kreme  since that is what she wanted in place of a cake lol.
MM got the wii set up Friday which was the big treat for the weekend. 
Again, y'all probably think I am neurotic but.... my kids had to help write a wii contract and then sign it.  We have rules and all that jazz that have their signatures and intials next to any changes lol.

Today I did chores and cooked for the next 3 days.  MM went to be with his family and Amy stole the kids away for a photo session at the Botanical gardens.  They had a BLAST!

Overall a very fun relaxing weekend!
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hands

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